Skip to main content

Meditation and envy


In Italian, "Non te prendre stressare" means literally, "do not take the stress."

They literally don't take it.



Everyone has conflict. Some people have them verses another person, others have them versus the environment, and the third is them against themselves.

I'm working on it. Meditation helps. Constantly checking in with myself and choosing what I want and not I think someone expects me to be helps. The Mountain is the meditation I love right now.

Carving out more time for my activities helps me add more joy in my life.

Being envious doesn't sit well with me. I don't like when I see other people do it and I don't like the way it feels. But, by pretending it doesn't exist, it turns into a bad feeling of resentment.

So, I have been working on envy. Working on recognizing it in myself and not judging myself for it.

You have to be true to yourself which means sitting with the emotions you don't want to feel. If you can learn to identify them, try to describe them. How do they feel? Just sitting with the emotions that are uncomfortable is a very difficult task. A lot of us carry emotions all day long and at the end of the day we numb out with something. Whatever we find ourselves doing for hours at a time, that's the thing.

I've only been doing it for a short time so I am no expert, but meditation takes to clear anything up that is lingering. It's like getting a haircut on the inside... which would be a pretty cool idea for a kid's book.

I'm writing about it because I really didn't want to do mindfulness. Then, I was shown how to do a pros and cons list properly and it asks you:

Pros for doing this
Cons of doing this

Pros of not doing this
Cons of not doing this

And you end up seeing the reason that you don't want to do something for real. It helps you face facts. Suddenly, when you allow yourself to feel the emotion. To see it as a shape or experience it as a feeling, it fades. It just disappears, and you move on without these feelings weighing you down all day.

You learn how not to take the stress.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The battle

I'm dog sitting Adam's parents' Jake Russel Terriers this week. Last night they woke me up around 7am. The hilarious part about this is that I have been struggling to wake up early for a few months now. A few weeks anyway. So, here these dogs are as a gift to me to help me get up in the morning. They got me up this morning earlier than I would have wanted, but at the same time as my goal morning.  I woke up with the thought of caring for someone else on my mind. This mindset change gave me more energy and I was able to clearly identify and accomplish my goals. I have been very productive today, doing things for myself and for my other responsibilities like caring for my house.   I have been trying to change my morning mindset ever since I became aware of the ugly thoughts that I'd been having.  My ugly thoughts were, "oh, not another day, " in the saddest Eyore voice ever.  My ugly thoughts were, "sigh. I guess I have to get up n...
Post a Comment
Read more

Human Experience

I've been feeling brighter and not depressed. How do you know? My mind starts to work clearer. I start to be more aware of time. I am able to do things more efficiently. I have a better concept of what I can do in an hour. It's not like my life begins to be all about producing... when that happens, I spiral into depression. There is a delicate balance; a system at work. I am more aware that time is on side of the spectrum, while producing is totally on the other side. But now I realize that time has more of a meaning. I realize that there are things I want to do in a day. There are ways I experience joy in my days and I make plans to experience that joy. I don't apologize for it. I prepare for it and I enjoy my life. That's what not depressed feels like. It feels like you enjoy your life and you are able to take things in stride. You understand that your emotions are not you. That you are the listener, not the speaker. That you are in control of a life that you ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Things to live for

The first few days actually I was able to do it, to get up at 6:30. Then, it turned into 6:15. Soon it was 7:20 and being late for work. I went on the slow decline. I spent more and more time on my couch, more and more time in my house, and I felt worse and worse. I was stuck in this cycle of not being able to take care of myself and being too tired to add anything to my plate. So, for the last weekend I stayed in my house on the couch all day long and even ordered groceries delivered. Maybe to the outsider this could sound glorious. I was too sad to enjoy it. What I realized today as I was brooding about I really don't like phrases like - you choose your own thoughts - because then I feel like it's my fault I am depressed. Which I know isn't true, but it sure feels like it's my fault. When I start thinking about being at fault, it's really like moving a giant rock in my own path. It makes it laborious to get out of that sort of thinking. Then I feel really st...
Post a Comment
Read more