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Karaoke Queen

When I was younger I would sing all the time. Mariah, Whitney, Celine...
One day I stopped singing. Then, I didn't sing anymore because I thought I would never "be a singer."
There have been years when I didn't listen to music at all because I was so envious of the people who "got to" write songs and be singers.
Then, the era of televised competition through me for an even bigger loop and I was so envious of people who had the talent I wanted: that singing talent.
A few years ago, I started to do karaoke.  It was hard. Not so much the idea of singing in front of people, but the idea of starting as a beginner. As someone who really has to try to sing well. Who has no natural ear. I knew I sucked, but I just tried to show up and get comfortable with my own voice.
I wish I could tell you that I suddenly came around and now I always sing. That didn't happen.
I stopped going to karaoke and haven't been for a long time. I know a few songs that fit my voice. I have wrestled with the thought of just giving up on my dream of singing. We get these ideas that we have to "be" someone to do something.

We have to "be a professional" hockey player or what's the point?
We can't just play to play.

We have to "have a title" to feel good about ourselves.
We can't just be happy about our work.

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