Skip to main content

Depression

I have been feeling down these last weeks and I finally started talking opening up to friends and family about it.
Turns out, I am not alone.
I am not the only one who feels worthless and like if I don't have a goal or a "career" or a business or that I am not hustling enough, that I am nothing as a result and feels a real sense of disassociation with life.
I have talked about this idea with women and men who are people who I look up to. People who are successful by all the typical means: education, career, self-employment, ownership of something, and artists.
Everyone has been saying the same thing. So I wonder if it's a world phenomenon? If it's not just me then there is nothing wrong with me. So, then, maybe we change our thinking and start to take the day one day at a time, one hour at a time. One connection at a time.
That's what's been working for me these days anyway.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The battle

I'm dog sitting Adam's parents' Jake Russel Terriers this week. Last night they woke me up around 7am. The hilarious part about this is that I have been struggling to wake up early for a few months now. A few weeks anyway. So, here these dogs are as a gift to me to help me get up in the morning. They got me up this morning earlier than I would have wanted, but at the same time as my goal morning.  I woke up with the thought of caring for someone else on my mind. This mindset change gave me more energy and I was able to clearly identify and accomplish my goals. I have been very productive today, doing things for myself and for my other responsibilities like caring for my house.   I have been trying to change my morning mindset ever since I became aware of the ugly thoughts that I'd been having.  My ugly thoughts were, "oh, not another day, " in the saddest Eyore voice ever.  My ugly thoughts were, "sigh. I guess I have to get up n...
Post a Comment
Read more

Human Experience

I've been feeling brighter and not depressed. How do you know? My mind starts to work clearer. I start to be more aware of time. I am able to do things more efficiently. I have a better concept of what I can do in an hour. It's not like my life begins to be all about producing... when that happens, I spiral into depression. There is a delicate balance; a system at work. I am more aware that time is on side of the spectrum, while producing is totally on the other side. But now I realize that time has more of a meaning. I realize that there are things I want to do in a day. There are ways I experience joy in my days and I make plans to experience that joy. I don't apologize for it. I prepare for it and I enjoy my life. That's what not depressed feels like. It feels like you enjoy your life and you are able to take things in stride. You understand that your emotions are not you. That you are the listener, not the speaker. That you are in control of a life that you ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Things to live for

The first few days actually I was able to do it, to get up at 6:30. Then, it turned into 6:15. Soon it was 7:20 and being late for work. I went on the slow decline. I spent more and more time on my couch, more and more time in my house, and I felt worse and worse. I was stuck in this cycle of not being able to take care of myself and being too tired to add anything to my plate. So, for the last weekend I stayed in my house on the couch all day long and even ordered groceries delivered. Maybe to the outsider this could sound glorious. I was too sad to enjoy it. What I realized today as I was brooding about I really don't like phrases like - you choose your own thoughts - because then I feel like it's my fault I am depressed. Which I know isn't true, but it sure feels like it's my fault. When I start thinking about being at fault, it's really like moving a giant rock in my own path. It makes it laborious to get out of that sort of thinking. Then I feel really st...
Post a Comment
Read more